When I read what Lisa Adams wrote this week on her blog, All Good Things, I felt she had said more accurately what I was trying to say in the my own blog from last week. The concerns I wrote about in JUST NOISE were not expressed properly. I think I misrepresented what I was feeling and got side tracked from what was really going on in my mind.
When I asked at the end, “Have I said anything worthwhile?” I realize now it sparked a rallying around me to validate my blog in general. And though I appreciated the kind words sent my way — more than you’ll know — it’s not really what I meant. After reading Lisa’s blog titled, The In-Between, I thought that’s what I was trying to say.
I just finished a run in CHICAGO on Broadway. That was cool. Super cool. But it’s over and there is no new job in sight. Auditioned for many pilots. Didn’t book ‘em. Gotta heal this psuedo-cyst on my vocal cord, so no job for this summer. Hoped to be doing a remount of Dancing Lessons in New York City this fall, but we lost our lead producer, so that’s not happening, not anytime soon anyway. I got nuffem. So I feel like a bit of a fraud when people ask me for advice. People always want to sit down with me and ask how they can become a host, how they can get their own home improvement show, how they break into the business or shift from being in theater to being in TV. I definitely have a story of how it all happened for me, but it happened so long ago, and some of it was luck. I feel at a loss when people want advice from me, while on the inside I’m screaming, “Child, if I had the answers I’d have my own gig lined up right now.”
And I’m more than guilty of hoping for an easy way out. Maybe this new agent, maybe this new contact, maybe this audition will be the one. I get just as caught up in hoping there is a magic solution around the corner. All this to say, I am “in between”, just as the spring flowers Lisa wrote about so eloquently in her post.
The winter is chasing us on the east coast, but the flowers are blooming anyway. Lisa says it’s teaching us to notice that when things don’t seem to be going as planned and we find ourselves in between where we were and where we want to be, act as if everything is happening according to plan and show up and do your job anyway.
It is the nature of life, and the life of nature, to be in between. We are all in between at some point. Just keep going. You know, last year at this very time I was feeling lost with nothing on the horizon and was even thinking of quitting the business. Then bam, Dancing Lessons happened and I had the greatest summer ever. You never know what’s around the bend. But something always is. The flowers always bloom.
Lisa Adam’s post, The In-Between, can be found here. Please read it. It’s beautiful: http://www.allgoodthings.nyc/new-blog/2015/4/26/the-in-between
I wish there were some words of comfort or wisdom that my additional 10 years on this planet could offer you right now but there aren’t because…
I freaking HATE the in-between. In fact (and pardon my potty mouth here), the in-between sucks ass.
So there you have it.
But! I do believe that it is these times that make us re-examine who we are and what we want, as uncomfortable as that might feel.
I love this quote (it’s on my bulletin board at work). I hope it helps you.
“Our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers.” ~M. Scott Peck
I can’t wait to see what the future holds for you.
Thank you, Sherry. So true.
I think right now, I’m in my late twenties & in a huge “in between” stage of my life in general. Even down to the most petty issues like not knowing if I should shop in the teen/young adult section or the women’s section of a clothing department. I kind of like it though! The not knowing where I’ll be or what I’ll do next is exciting to think about. As long as I have my friends & family with me, I’m happy to be sandwiched right where I am. 🙂
Friend! Our minds are often cued up at the same thoughts to share each week. I love that about us. No one can take away our experiences no matter how long ago they happened. They continue to make us who we are. And you, my dear, are always blooming. That’s YOUR nature. Lucky to share a garden with you! Faces soon please!
I heart you, Lisa! Yes, Faces soon.
Say, what’s you tomorrow (meaning Sunday) late afternoon look like? Or Monday late afternoon?
Life is a journey, so until death, we are always “in between” 😉
After reading this, I was reminded of the very old song, “Ain’t We Got Fun” and had to look it up and listen. This is my favorite video of the song, with scenes from some beloved old movies. 🙂
Best video ever. That was wonderful. Thank you, Mary!